"RED wine tastes better when sipped under red or blue lights" ran a headline in the UK tabloid The Daily Mail last week. A nothing-much piece, perhaps, but in its own small way it said plenty about the booming "a study finds" genre of news story.

According to The Daily Mail report: "Psychologists have found that [wine lovers'] brains are tricked into thinking the alcohol is of a higher quality and more expensive [in a blue or red room] ... the effect is lost, however, if there is green or white background lighting."

A very useful piece of research, you might think, either seriously or not. As one reader commented on the paper's website: "Next time I go down the local brothel I shall be sure to take the Chateauneuf, so I can still enjoy it in the police station when I'm arrested."

Trouble is, the wine used in the study by Dr Daniel Oberfeld-Twistel, a research associate and lecturer in experimental psychology at the University of Mainz in Germany, was riesling. A white wine, that is. Not a bit red.

That the paper got such a basic fact wrong is disappointing perhaps, but hardly surprising. The studies most often picked up on by the populist media are not necessarily those that most advance the cause of science or human knowledge. Rather, they are those that lend themselves to an eye-catching headline. Reading the fine print — like what the "study" actually found, or who conducted it, or who paid for it to be conducted (many "studies" are in fact the results of PR companies) — is way too much to ask for the hard-pressed churnalist asked to file two pars by deadline.

Like chocolate and sex, red wine is a staple of the increasingly popular "study finds" genre. You don't have to look too hard to find claims that red wine will lengthen your life, clean your teeth, lessen pain (though perhaps not the morning after), reduce lung cancer, fight diabetes, reduce cholesterol and ward off Alzheimers disease.

As satirical website theonion.com reported last year: "Researchers at the Northwestern University Department of Preventive Medicine have recently found that the consumption of four to six glasses of red wine, most notably at dinner or a family function, may be linked to totally going off on one's mom."

But you don't need to turn to parody to find the humour in many of these "study finds" stories. In the past 12 months alone, there have been breathless reports on the following startling research results: younger drivers can be dangerous idiots; older drivers tow caravans around the country slowly and often have no idea what they're doing; a young person who gets into a lot of trouble has a high chance of becoming an older person who gets into a lot of trouble; your boss is probably a psychopath, because psychopaths claw their way to the top (if they don't go to jail first); and your boss is almost certainly not a nice woman, because being nice in business isn't a great way to get ahead.

Well, that was research money well spent.

But some bulletins from the Office of Stating the Bleedin' Obvious have their uses. A story in the Sydney Morning Herald in April reported on Queensland University of Technology researcher Dr Vinesh Oommen's findings that open-plan offices "caused high levels of stress and staff turnover, increased workplace conflicts and feelings of insecurity from lack of privacy, caused loss of concentration due to excessive noise, and increased the risk of high blood pressure and infectious diseases".

Oommen's research struck a nerve and, "From Canada to China, people ... wanted evidence to change the way their organisation was heading," Oommen told the SMH. 

Very impressive though that is, a study of my own has revealed that it would be better to end this piece with a few more Earth-shattering revelations from the past year.

So, here goes: wearing make-up can help women feel more confident; texting while driving is really dangerous; lots of girls don't like maths and lots of boys don't like reading; takeaway pizza isn't very healthy; cutting back on drinking and smoking would be a really good idea; people spend a lot of money on weddings; and thinking about pleasant things that happened yesterday will make you feel happier today.  

Who'd have thought, eh?